Today is another wonderful weather day here is Wisconsin! I really am very lucky and know it. I am sitting on the couch and feeling warm sun shining down on me. My knee seems to have had a small (I hope it is small...) setback. Last night it popped kind of backward and that left it hurting...so I am back to taking Vicodin. I certainly don't want to be on it too long but I also like being able to get around without so much difficulty. Everything I have read about knee surgery is that each one is different in time it takes to heal. So, I will be patient. I hope.
Today I am going to write a little bit about my mom. She is 90 and 1/2 years old. If she could, she would say "For God's sake, what it that all about? Who wants to be 90 if you can't dance, golf, bowl, travel or play cards!" She lives about three hours away from me in the Alzheimer's unit of a nursing home. She really doesn't recognize me -- except the last time I was home, she said when I came in, "Come here and give me a hug and a kiss." And she smiled at me. Later in the visit she said my name. It was not in context but still felt good to hear it from her. It is amazing how the little things do help...and hurt.
The entire visit -- about 2 hours or so -- I held her hand and we just kind of visited. You need to understand that mom doesn't really carry on a convesation anymore. Just a rambling group of words flow from her. But the touching was wonderful. I know I sometimes just go visit to "make contact" with her. Not in a literal sense but in a physical one. My sister lives in a small town close to mom and sees her every weekend - most times twice. I am so thankful that she is there and does this and I KNOW it takes a toll on her. I owe her.
Mom and I had a good relationship, for which I am very grateful. We spent many hours just chatting about things and mom was never afraid to give her opinion on anything! This often led to intense debates and much energetic discussion. She faced discussions of death, getting old, etc. head on and always told me how she felt. I don't remember a time when I didn't know what she thought or what she wanted. I appreciate that more every day.
When she saw her kids in trouble, she never backed up or stepped away -- always there and always supportive. I also remember her with our kids. She was the best audience they ever had or will have, with lots of clapping and laughing and positive vibes. Golfing, bowling, playing cards, walking -- endless walks!! -- these are memories of my mom. I miss her.
My husband said when my dad died, that the Circle of Life was being followed. We would become the grandparents and fill our parents' roles. And we have done that! It is often so difficult to believe that we have become "those older people." It does make me value life very much, and the actual speed at which it travels.
OK, I am off to try to do a bit of gardening...with my left leg out straight. It may work.
Today I am going to write a little bit about my mom. She is 90 and 1/2 years old. If she could, she would say "For God's sake, what it that all about? Who wants to be 90 if you can't dance, golf, bowl, travel or play cards!" She lives about three hours away from me in the Alzheimer's unit of a nursing home. She really doesn't recognize me -- except the last time I was home, she said when I came in, "Come here and give me a hug and a kiss." And she smiled at me. Later in the visit she said my name. It was not in context but still felt good to hear it from her. It is amazing how the little things do help...and hurt.
The entire visit -- about 2 hours or so -- I held her hand and we just kind of visited. You need to understand that mom doesn't really carry on a convesation anymore. Just a rambling group of words flow from her. But the touching was wonderful. I know I sometimes just go visit to "make contact" with her. Not in a literal sense but in a physical one. My sister lives in a small town close to mom and sees her every weekend - most times twice. I am so thankful that she is there and does this and I KNOW it takes a toll on her. I owe her.
Mom and I had a good relationship, for which I am very grateful. We spent many hours just chatting about things and mom was never afraid to give her opinion on anything! This often led to intense debates and much energetic discussion. She faced discussions of death, getting old, etc. head on and always told me how she felt. I don't remember a time when I didn't know what she thought or what she wanted. I appreciate that more every day.
When she saw her kids in trouble, she never backed up or stepped away -- always there and always supportive. I also remember her with our kids. She was the best audience they ever had or will have, with lots of clapping and laughing and positive vibes. Golfing, bowling, playing cards, walking -- endless walks!! -- these are memories of my mom. I miss her.
My husband said when my dad died, that the Circle of Life was being followed. We would become the grandparents and fill our parents' roles. And we have done that! It is often so difficult to believe that we have become "those older people." It does make me value life very much, and the actual speed at which it travels.
OK, I am off to try to do a bit of gardening...with my left leg out straight. It may work.
Labels: alzheimers, Circle of Life, family, mom
posted by Mema at
7:52 AM
1 Comments:
Anita, thanks for writing about mom. Aging with dementia has not been easy for her or us. Seeing her fade away is hard. She still smiles and laughs, but the disease has taken its toll. This is definitely the "long goodbye". Love you - your sister.
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