Saying Good-bye

Things are beginning to get back to normal since mom's funeral. But that normal will change again when Irene and I head off to the Amalfi Coast in Italy on Tuesday!!

I believe mom gave us a last gift by joining dad before we left. It would have been extremely difficult to go while we knew she wasn't doing well.......

Before I begin:

In 1999 after dad died, Irene and I took mom to CA to visit Amy and to see her brother, Jim, in the San Bernadino Mountains. We ended up spending our first night in O'Hare due to storm delays. This is mom waking up in the baggage claim area at

5 a.m. She was a good sport.

I was home when mom died on September 20th, and Irene kept in touch with texting and the phone. Mom died around 11:15 am. Irene didn't want me to drive to LaCrosse that morning, and to tell the truth, it wouldn't have been a good idea. Even though weknew this was going to happen and it was a good thing ultimately, I was a mess. Driving would have been scary. (Especially in light of the accident the week earlier on my way into Onalaska.)

I went up to LX on Friday morning. We got salads and ate in Riverside Park by the Mississippi River - one of mom's favorite spots. Then we went to the funeral home. We have had things set up since 2003! I didn't remember it being so long ago! We changed a few things, and went to our old parish church to meet about the funeral mass. We had decided we wanted the service to be in the Faith and Life Chapel of Bethany Riverside. Mom had lived there for 10 years, and it felt right to end there. Bethany couldn't have the luncheon there due to the Grumpy Old Men who came in one Monday a month to play polkas, etc. at one o'clock. (The program lady at Bethany said the men would come whether we were there or not......they would pay NO attention to a change.) SO we found another restaurant. It was not a big place and weighed on both of us that it was not the right place.

When I woke up on Saturday, Irene said she had thought of another place - the old Knights of Columbus building on Highway 16! Our dad built the bar there and he and mom spent many hours socializing there. Perfect. Except........it is now The View Bar and Grill. She had already called at 7 am and booked it. It seemed like a fitting end to the social lives of Fran and Dorothy Mara. (The new owners tore out the bar to update it. That hurt a bit, but life just continues to move on whether we want it to or not.)

I drove home to Milton, and Amy and Timothy came in the late afternoon from Cincinnati.

We drove back to LaCrosse on Sunday, put our things in our hotel rooms and went off to Irene and Tom's house. Joe and Mike were there from Louisville, KY, and brother, Duane and nephew, Matt, came in from Montgomery, AL. The "kids" put together the memory photo boards and Irene and I edited some of mom's things to display at the visitation. It kept us all busy and talking. It was nice.

On Monday, Irene picked me up at 8:15 am and we went to Bethany to set up. Many people came to pay their respects and  mom would have liked it, too. The sun shone in the windows and mom would have liked that, too. We had a mass and lots of songs about dancing and mom would have liked that, too. In so many ways, it was a celebration of her long and mostly joyous life. And she would have liked that, too!!

Mom was buried next to the love of her life, Fran, and her sister, Laura and her husband, George in the Catholic Cemetery in LaCrosse. It was so sunny and the wind gusted up at one point. I am SURE I felt mom's approval of the setting. As my nephew Joe said, "Not to get all new agey", but I feel her all around me. It is easier now that she has shed her mortal burdens. She is at peace, of that I am sure.