Mema and Alexandar

Mom and Alexandar
Originally uploaded by cw.

Beautiful baby.

Today would have been Alex’s second birthday. It is kind of amazing that that time has passed already. It still sometimes feels just like it was a bit ago that he was born and spent his short time here. There will always be a wonder…what would he have been like? Who would he have looked like? And all the other unanswered questions. I will never know these answers and that is tough to take sometimes. He will always be in my heart and mind. Little things remind me of him: going into the baby section of a store for a baby shower gift, a photo in my collection (that can set me off looking at all of them again for quite awhile), a comment someone makes about a grandbaby, a certain date, etc., etc. It is true that the pain and loss become more indistinct and less sharp but somehow I can always "go there" and feel the immense sadness.

A new baby is coming and that is wonderful. Not to take his place, but to fill a place that needs filling. I await this baby eagerly and will treasure the presence of another little person in our family. Hannah has given me so much joy and love. How can another not add to that? I have been told I have "good arms" for hugging. They are waiting, always.

Life does go on but always know that Alex is in all of our hearts. Of this I am sure.

Mema